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Tampa Boo ~ Cover Who? Fire Lovie

By: Greill Kupicky

Give me Shanahan, or give me death!!!!!! Sunday brought me to the harsh realization that this team is dismal in almost every respect. The Bears were down 28 to 7 before I could even drive my wife out of the room with my first stinky fart, and I was eating Chili. Hmmm, smelly fart...Chicago Bears. The same? You be the judge. Fire Lovie!

The only thing that made me smile all day was that Green Bay lost to Tampa. It brought me back to the days of the Toilet Bowls (Battle of the Bays). But it was a shallow victory. Just seeing Green Bay suck isn't enough, my team has to be good, too. As I have previously stated, my dreams of a Superbowl season have nothing to do with this year. I've come to the realization that it's not gonna happen, so I'm just watching. But, when even Troy Aikman takes notice and states, "Sorry Chicago fans, this is just not a good football team," then you know we really have issues that need to be addressed. Fire Lovie!

Where on Earth do you begin with this squad? I can't find one single bright spot other than we have a potential future with Jay Cutler (If he doesn't get killed out there that is). If I hear anything else, I will scream. Orton is having a great season, and he is a decent quarterback, but I refuse to let anyone say he is better than Jay, or will go further in his career. Jay is the man. He has instinct and is competitive, and above all else, have you seen the throws he makes? He will be fine as long as the Chicago Bears organization builds a team around him. He did great in Denver, so you can't blame the player...even look at Orton, he goes to Denver and he's doing great. Players or coaching? Fire Lovie!

Right now, the Bears window is back open because of Cutler. The Urlacher window is just about shut. They have about 5 years from right now to get as many Superbowl victories as they can. Urlacher may or may not be a part of any of those Super bowls. I hope he is, but we can't count on it. He's getting old. After that 5 year window closes, it is a crap shoot. They have to move now, or the window time will be to short to do anything substantial. Fire Lovie!


The answer is the coaching. I know, I know, the defense sucks monkey nuggets, and we have a crap offensive line with no receivers to throw to. That's great. Now lets address the real issue. Lets reach down and ask ourselves, "What is the real problem here?" Fire Lovie!

Answer...We need a proven, good coach. Lovie has got to go...period! But lets not get rid of "The Yoda of the sidelines," and then fall into the same trap the Bears always do...hiring some other yahoo to take his place. I would rather keep Lovie if that is the plan. My question to the Bears organization is, and always has been...Why would the Bears spend all this money on getting a franchise quarterback and ruin him with Ron Turner's Jon Shoop offense? QUIT BEING CHEAP!!!!! Lets forget about the up-and-coming coaches out there because they are cheaper and get a proven OFFENSIVE minded guru. Fire Lovie!

There are several available. To name a few there is Shanahan, that's who I would go for. He will make the Bears a great team I can assure you, and he is available. He has worked with Cutler, his ability to get the best out of his offensive linemen is legendary by his understanding of zone blocking (His teams always rush for 1500 yards-no matter who is the running back), and he understands how to score points and win games. How about Holmgren? I'm positive he would bring us up a notch or two. What about Cower? How about Parcels? How about Chucky? Shanahan is my first choice, but I would take any of these guys, and they are all available. No more "defensive minded" coaches. I like Rivera, but I want a proven track record, not another maybe. "Hey, this guy was a great assistant coach under so-and-so." ENOUGH!!! Fire Lovie!

Seriously, sometimes I am embarrassed to be a Bears fan. I get made fun of all the time and it sucks. It is hard to be a Bears fan. But you know what? I can handle a loosing team, I can't handle getting embarrassed. Maybe one game I could deal with, but not two out of three weeks. You can see it on the players faces...they simply don't believe in the scheme anymore...and why would you? Fire Lovie!

I would tell Tommy Harris to take a flying leap. I know it is a lot of money invested and so-on, but enough is enough. Cancer! Getting thrown out of the game cost us any chance of a victory. He was actually causing Warner to throw up a few ducks those few plays he was in there because he was actually collapsing the middle. You see, in the Tampa Boo, it's all about the middle of the defensive line. If the ends rush outside like they are supposed to and everyone else on the whole defense does their jobs, a good quarterback will step up into the pocket (ie. Warner and Palmer ~ oh and Manning in the Superbowl a few years ago). If Tommy Harris is doing what he is supposed to do and collapses the middle, the QB is screwed. Bam...sack, or interception. But if there is no middle pressure...well, we all saw what happens. Fire Lovie!

The whole defensive line is a bunch of undersized, overpaid, underachieving minor speed bumps to any running back in the league. A frickin swinging gate! Oh, and by the way, none of them are doing their job getting a pass rush either. I see them get in the way of our own players more than I see them make plays. Junk!!! Absolute junk! Sometimes when I am watching these games I can swear I hear the theme song from Sanford and Son playing in the background. Fire Lovie!


Our secondary is also overpaid, and I dare say that a washcloth covers better than they do. I've been saying all year how they were going to be a problem, but I really didn't think it would be this bad. I don't know if anyone else noticed, but do you see how teams are playing this defense now? Maybe I am wrong, but the Cover 2 gives up yards with it's many holes, tightens up in the red zone, and relies on take-aways/turnovers, right? So what I have noticed is that both AZ and the Bungles were throwing the crap out of the ball early. Lots of 15 yard quick passes over the middle, and then the receiver goes down. Some times, the receiver would even kind of dive to catch the ball. They didn't even seem to worry about getting yards after the catch, just make the catch and go down. Don't let the Bears play their turnover game, just catch the ball. Both teams did the same thing, right down the field and both scored on nearly every possession. Don't be fooled because in the second half they scaled back. It wasn't the Bears defense, it was the AZ coaches who kept them from scoring even more than they did. How do I know? Simple, when the Bears were threatening, they put Warner in and he scored with ease again. Five touchdowns? Come on. The Bears were nothing more than practice for this team. Fire Lovie!

Finally, it wouldn't be a Greill Kupicky article/rant unless I said my piece about the offense. For the most part, they deserve nothing but scorn and criticism. Just like on defense, you win the wars in the trenches. This line (though they did play slightly better this week, only 3 sacks?) is awful. I have decided to give them all nicknames and I would like to share them with you. From left to right...Orlando "Over The Hill" Pace at Tackle, Who gives a crap at Guard, Olin "You Were Once Great, But Now You Should Retire" Kruetz at Center, Roberto "We Have Absolutely Nobody Else" Garza at Guard, and Chris "I Will Never Be Any Better Than What You See Today" Williams at Tackle. They play like they have no heart, no motivation, and no clue. If I were Jay Cutler,the only Christmas presents I would give these guys are my medical bills, Chiropractor bills, and massage bills. Then I would walk away with my middle finger in the air. Fire Lovie!

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